


Bits and Pieces (Star Trek)

by letstalkabouttrek



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Bonding, Christian Character, Christmas, Dealing With Your Bullshit, Female Friendship, Fluff, Gen, Guilt, Married Couple, Multi, Religion, Talking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-15
Updated: 2015-05-15
Packaged: 2018-03-30 17:56:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3946195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/letstalkabouttrek/pseuds/letstalkabouttrek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Various short works written for the Star Trek fandom.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Destiny

**Author's Note:**

> A post I made on tumblr reminded me of an old drabble I wrote, so I dug it up to start a collection of the various short Trek fics I write that aren't long enough to be their own thing.

She didn’t care what Julian said; Ezri Dax was not running away from her problems.

She was simply avoiding them. Strategically. For the time being. 

When she’d first heard that the _Destiny_ would be stopping at DS9 for six days in order to complete necessary maintenance, she’d immediately submitted her request for leave. Four days on Earth, stopping by to visit Miles and Keiko and perhaps even Joseph, and if it so happened to overlap with the majority of the starship’s stay, leaving only the initial confusion of arrival and the mad rush of final checks… well, coincidences happened.

Julian had called her on it, of course, because as much as he may have grown he still could never resist an opportunity to get on his high horse. He’d accused her of hiding, claiming she would never confront her issues if no one made her. She’d fired right back, calling him a hypocrite and pointing out how he had conveniently been unable to attend every single genetics conference he’d been invited to in the past 3 years.

The stony silence between them had continued for days before he’d finally given in, apologizing and even agreeing to accompany her on her trip. 

But, just as her luck would have it, everything fell apart. A station-wide emergency, a traumatized engineering crew, and 2 of the stations other counselors being suddenly called away for family crises left DS9 in desperate need of her services, and Kira apologetically, but firmly, requested that she reschedule her leave two days before it was set to begin. Julian had offered to stay behind with her, but she insisted he go - Molly and Yoshi were too excited over getting to see “Uncle Julian” again.

And that’s how she found herself wearing a hole in his carpet while he calmly debated which of his ridiculous holosuite costumes to pack. 

“Ezri, it will be fine,” the doctor said, deciding against the 20th century bomber jacket and placed it back in his closet. “It might be weird at first, but it’s not like your old friends are going to be anything but happy to see you.”

She halted her pacing and gave him a look that could have melted a hole in the bulkhead.

Julian held up his hands in surrender. “Okay, I admit that it took much longer than it should have for us to accept having a new Dax around. But to be fair, your arrival was rather unexpected and we were still dealing with losing Jadzia. It should be easier for them; they’ve had more time to get used to the idea, and it’s not like the person they knew is gone.”

“Yes she is!” Ezri snapped. She collapsed onto the bed with an aggravated sigh. “Sorry, it’s just… most non-Trills don’t really understand Joining. The symbiont isn’t just new memories being placed in your head; it changes who you are. The personalities of the previous hosts, even the base personality of the symbiont - they all bleed through. Add on a few hundred years of experiences to process and you really aren’t left with the same person you started with.”

“So you’re afraid they’re going to expect you to be Ezri Tigan.” Julian said, sitting down next to her and resting a hand on her shoulder. 

“I don’t think I even know who Ezri Tigan was anymore,” she said, leaning into his embrace. “I mean, I know on a basic level - what she liked, what she wanted, what she did. But I have no idea if I’m anything like her, and I have a feeling that I’m really not. And everyone who knew her is going to know that as soon as they talk to me.”

“Well, I’m guessing that Ezri Tigan didn’t want to never see her friends again, huh?” he said, a small, joking smile on his lips.

Ezri’s face fell. “What she didn’t want, what she never wanted… that was the Joining. I remember that much, remember the fear and reluctance going into that operating room and the confusion coming out of it. She never wanted to be consumed.”

“Hey,” Julian said softly, pulling her closer. “You didn’t consume her. You _are_ her, just as much if not more than you’re Jadzia and Curzon and the rest of them. I know how it feels, and I promise, you have every right to be here.”

“What are you talking about,” she mumbled, burying her face deeper into his side.

“Look at me, Ezri,” he said, gently taking her face in his hands. “I understand, okay. I know that you must feel like your existence robbed some innocent woman of hers. I know that guilt.” He paused, gently wiping a tear from her cheek. “There are days when I wonder what Jules Bashir would have been doing, what life he could have had, the people he could have loved. And I feel like I have no right to be standing here instead of him, even though I know it wasn’t my choice. Part of me will probably always feel that way, deep down. But I know I can’t beat myself up over it all the time. No matter how we got here, we’re here now and nothing is going to change that. Your life is yours, Ezri, and it’s completely valid. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

The smallest hint of a smile crossed Ezri’s face, and she leaned in and kissed his cheek. “Since when did you get so smart?” she teased.

“I’ve had a lot of time to think about it,” Julian replied. “Now come on, you have a shift in an hour and I’d like to get lunch first. I can finish packing later.”


	2. Oh Christmas Tree

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is another short drabble I had originally put on tumblr. Mostly it serves to fill my Ben/Kasidy emotions and expand on my Christian Kasidy Yates headcanon.

Kasidy Yates hadn’t had a Christmas tree since she was 18 years old. 

If she was honest with herself, she’d hardly had a Christmas since she was 18 years old, when she hopped on a transport and left Cestus III for the first time. She’d been back, but between the demands of her job, the distance, and the sheer difficulty of coordinating a Federation Standard calendar with the longer Bajoran one and the shorter Cestus one and the dozens of others of varying lengths she dealt with on a daily basis, it was nearly impossible to time her visits for the holidays.

The Christmases on her adult life consisted primarily of sitting alone in her quarters with her Bible, eating a poor replicated facsimile of her grandmother’s cooking, and maybe getting a subspace message from home if the long-distance relays were playing nice. As much as she loved her job, there weren’t many other Christians in her side of the galaxy.

She’d honestly thought that’s how she would be spending this one, once the Andorian trade official she’d had to deal with started going on about invasive moths and demanding a thorough inspection of her entire cargo hold, delaying her for two days. She’d arrived back on Bajor in the middle of the night on Christmas Eve, transporting back to the house assuming she would find it dark and quiet.

What she found instead was her husband sitting in the middle of the living room, illuminated by the glow of a fully decorated Christmas tree with a small collection of presents sitting at the bottom.

“Ben?” she asked, louder than she intended in her surprise.

“Shhhhhh,” he said quickly, standing up to embrace her. “Jake finally got Becca to in bed a few hours ago. She was trying to stay up and wait for you, but I convinced her you wouldn’t bring the presents if she did that.” He chuckled. “She did insist on leaving you these, though.” He gestured to the coffee table, which held a small plate of cookies and a glass of milk. 

“Oh, so I’m bringing the presents, huh?” she asked jokingly, leaning in to kiss him.

“Is that not the way it works? Forgive me, I’m not entirely familiar with the tradition. Though I guess this means these are up for grabs.” He leaned over to grab a cookie.

“You’re ridiculous,” she said, grabbing a cookie of her own. It was decorated with swirls of green and pink, clearly Rebecca’s doing. “You really didn’t have to do this, you know. I’ve celebrated Christmas on my own for years.”

“I wanted to. We all did. And Rebecca’s your daughter as much as she is mine.” He craned his neck to glance down the hallway, smiling softly. “She should learn about your traditions, and your faith, even if this is the only Christmas tree in the nearest hundred star systems.”

She couldn’t help but stare at the tree - it was a Bajoran species, not the traditional fir or the sturdy hybrids of her childhood, but with the twinkling lights hanging off of it she almost couldn’t tell the difference. “Thank you. This really means a lot.”

“You’ve stuck by me no matter what, Kas,” he said, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her close. “No matter what the Prophets demanded or what the Emissary had to do, you were there. Even when I wasn’t. This,” he nodded towards the tree, “was the least I could do.”

For a moment, the two of them just stood there, wrapped in the glow of the tree and each other’s warmth.

“But,” he interjected, “I figured making Christmas dinner tomorrow wouldn’t hurt either. Especially if I got real sweet potatoes.”

She laughed, pulling him closer. “Merry Christmas, Ben.”

“Merry Christmas, Kasidy.”


	3. Faith

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is another small drabble originally from tumblr, once again containing my Christian Kasidy Yates headcanon but this time she gets to interact with Kira. Set post-What You Leave Behind.

Kira paused in front of the door, wondering yet again if this was the best idea. They weren’t exactly close, after all, and the last thing she wanted to do was rub salt in such a fresh wound. But she supposed that turning back after coming all the way here would be pointless.

She took a deep breath before requesting permission to enter. Even after two decades, this was still the part of the life of a solider she was least comfortable with.

There was a pause just long enough to let a small shiver of worry creep into Kira’s stomach, but the door slid open, revealing an exhausted-looking Kasidy Yates.

“Commander Kira,” she said, looking less shocked than simply dazed. “I wasn’t expecting you. Is there something I need to know, or…” Her voice was level, but Kira could detect a small hint of hope, and internally kicked herself. She should have made her purpose clearer, should have realized there would be the question, however subconscious, of whether Sisko had returned.

“No,” she replied, perhaps a bit too quickly, “I just knew you were back on the station, and since Jake is still on Bajor I thought I would stop by and see if you’d like some company.” Only days after the Captain’s disappearance, Kasidy had taken off on an urgent cargo run that had lasted nearly two weeks, and in the meantime her son-in-law had gone to search for any and all ancient texts relating to the Emissary. “And please, call me Nerys,” she added, with a smile she desperately hoped looked pleasant.

“Of course, please come in,” she said, stepping aside to allow Kira to enter. “I’m afraid I haven’t been doing much of anything, just some recreational reading.” Now that they were no longer face to face, Kira took the opportunity to take a better look at the woman: she definitely seemed like she hadn’t gotten a decent night’s sleep in a while.

“Well, that was a quite a long trip you were on; it would take a lot out of anyone.”

“I suppose so.”

An air of silence filled the room. Kira felt another small twinge of unease as they sat down, and asked the first question that came to her mind. “Could I ask what you were reading?”

A small smile crept onto Kasidy’s face. “The Bible, actually.” She picked up a beautiful leather-bound book from the coffee table. “This was a gift from my grandmother. She says it’s been in the family for 6 generations.”

“I didn’t know you were religious.”

“I don’t exactly go to church every Sunday, but I try.” A gentle laugh escaped her lips. “There’s no great shortage of Christians, to be sure, but you’d be surprised how hard it is to find a pastor in this neck of the woods.”

Kira smiled, feeling some of the tension drain out of her body. “I can guess. There weren’t that many Vedeks on Cardassia.”

“I would imagine.” Kasidy carefully leafed through the book’s pages. “Do you mind if I ask a… personal question?”

“Not at all,” Kira said, though she had to make an effort to keep the knot of anxiety from reappearing in her stomach.

“How do you feel about the Founders? Now that Odo has gone to be with them?”

“It’s complicated,” Kira said, trying to process how to put into words emotions she was still working out. She’d come her fully knowing the topic would probably come up, but two weeks was hardly enough time to sort through her feelings, even with the extra hours she’d been dedicating to meditation.

“I don’t forgive them, not for what they did in the war. And part of me resents that, even after all they did, Odo still went back to them.” The words came haltingly. “But I understand why he did, why he’d wanted to for years. I’ve spent my whole life fighting for Bajor, and I love my planet and my people more than anything. Odo never had that; he might have made his life here, but it was never home for him the way it is for me. If he thinks he can help his people, make them change, then I can’t begrudge him his decision.”

To Kira’s surprise, Kasidy reached across the table and took her hand with a light, yet reassuring grip. “I’ve felt the same way. About Ben, I mean. For a long time I was bitter about the whole Emissary thing, angry at the Prophets. I thought they had no right to insert themselves into our lives, to nearly get him killed, nearly get Jake killed. They were always too vague, too aloof. Not really what I imagined gods to be.

“But Ben… he changed my mind, somehow. I didn’t even notice it was happening, and I still don’t know when it happened. I’m not even sure if Ben sees the Prophets as anything more than wormhole aliens. But I know what he does believe in, Nerys, and that’s your world. He sees it as his home too, and what I’ve realized is that he’d do anything to protect it.”

She let go of Kira’s hand and picked up the Bible again. “This book is a little less literal than most Bajoran texts, but it has its share of stories. And what I’ve remembered it that my God was willing to ask sacrifices of his people, too. Reading those stories again – Abraham, Job, Jesus – I’ve been reminded of what people will do for what they believe in.

“My husband made a choice, and it wasn’t an easy one, not for him, not for me, not for Jake, and not for anyone that he called his friend. But I know why he made it. And I know he’ll be back, so we can raise a beautiful child together. I’ll wait, and while I do I have a life that needs living.”

They sat there in silence for several moments, letting the seeds of newfound understanding take root, before Kasidy spoke again. “Have you eaten tonight?”

“No.”

“Then why don’t you stay and I’ll replicate us something. I think we could both use the company.”

Kira smiled. “That sounds wonderful. Thank you.”

Kasidy stood up and started walking towards the kitchen, pausing to set a hand on Kira’s shoulder. “No, thank you Nerys.”


End file.
